Last Chance The personal blog of Kiara Gilbert

Key of Valor

So I've been re-reading this wonderful trio of books that my grandmother got me, called the Key Trilogy by Nora Roberts. I'm on the third book, 'Key of Valor'. I like it the best, because the main character in it is the one whose most like me. Her name is Zoe, and she's a single mother. Like my situation with Ariel and Michael (her father), and now Alex and David, the father of Zoe's son wanted nothing to do with the child. There's one quote in it, said by Zoe, that always... speaks to me, I guess. Reading it tonight, it made me think of David and Michael, and it was like having a piece of the puzzle fall into place.

"Everything but that one little part knew I didn't want it to turn out differently. I didn't really want the boy who couldn't stand by me or his own child."

In a way, I still love Michael. Whatever unhappiness he caused, he gave me Ariel, who gives me more joy in one day then anything else does - and that kinda makes up for all the hurt. I wouldn't have a little girl whose facial features and hair are just like mine when I was her age, with a lighter shade of her fraternal grandfather's blue eyes instead of my plain, dull brown. I wouldn't have a little girl who makes me laugh at a thousand different things every day, and makes my world completed just by letting me hold her. I love him because he gave me Ariel. I still love David too, although differently then Michael. I love Michael the way I love Brian, who was my first love. I'm not in love with either Michael or Brian anymore, but I am with David. We've barely spoken in the past couple of months, but I'll be doing something simple, like driving along a certain street, or sitting at my kitchen table, and I'll remember the way we used to talk when I drove us somewhere, or watching him fix my air conditioner. And I know that, like Brian and Michael, I will always love David in some way. But it's just like the quote above - I don't want the boy who can't stand by me or his own child. I want a man who will be there for me and my kids, and care about us, who won't go running away when things get too complicated or unexpected for him.

Excuse the sentiment - you can blame it on pregnancy hormones, if you'd like. ;)